As an only girl in a Yoruba Baptist family, I’ve had to fight for the little freedom I have. Sometimes it feels like my parents don’t want me to grow up and make independent decisions and at the same time they want me to be grown and mature. Its an incredulous juxtaposition if you ask me.
My parents are currently in that phase where they overreact when I hug a boy publicly and where they ask me to bring husband home for introduction. I’m just here like, pick a struggle people, do you want me to stay alone and single like a good Baptist daughter or do you want me to be outchea dating so that I can bring a man home. It’s one of the two. I’m not going to find a man by staying locked at home unless there is a 3D man printing machine I don’t know about. Please if you know of such a machine let God use you, hook ya girl up. Let me print Mr right (that is if such a thing exists)
Case in point, sometimes last week a guy dropped me at home. No it wasn’t bae. So he packed at the gate and we were talking, next thing I heard was someone knocking on the car door. “Anty Ara, mummy said you should come and cook, she said nobody is your slave”. Which kain thing be that? Someone can’t talk to a boy in peace again.
Meanwhile, my older brother went to visit a girl, and my mum called him and was like let me greet her, next thing she was greeting and praying for this girl and all I could think of is, “what kind if double standard is this?”
The a male child can stay out late and wild out but a female child is supposed to be the epitome of purity and Godliness. My brothers can get home at all hours of the day but should I attempt to stay out past dark, my mother will call all my siblings, cousins, aunties and uncles to report me and my wayward behavior. My mother actually told me “because you earn a salary does not mean you are independent yet”
I’m not in these streets hoeing, I hardly party, matter of fact my idea of a party nowadays is sitting in front of a TV in comfy clothes while surfing through social media on a full stomach. Add a bottle of wine and I’m in heaven. I am the girl that falls asleep in a club, you are probably wondering how a person could possibly sleep in all that noise but I do, without shame.
You know that viral Twitter post that asked if your mother will let you go on a beacation, my mother wouldn’t even let me go for a sleepover much less an entire vacation. So my girls and I were planning to travel for Easter, go to the beach, get some sun and just get our entire lives, my mother heard about it and said a big NO! Apparently, only wayward girls go on vacations alone.
I just want to be a baby girl in peace but my mother won’t let me be great. Overly strict parenting cause situations like #lagostoibadan. Its fine if you want to wild out, but don’t disgrace your entire lineage because of small turn up and d**k appointment. Learn the ropes. If you have to lie, make it a smart one. Have plan B, C and D in your lie and have a friend that can cover for you.
I just hope our generation does better with parenting. I want a situation where my child’s first thought is to call Mummy or Daddy when in trouble and not “My mummy will kill me if she finds out. We all just need to do better and be better.
Have a lovely week and don’t forget to drink water and mind your business.